By Henry Vinter | 10 February 2056
They say the Premier League is a marathon, not a sprint. Calin Dimario’s Chelsea have decided it is actually a demolition derby, and they are the only ones driving a tank.
Following the gritty 3-1 win at Reading in late January, pundits wondered if fatigue might finally set in. Chelsea’s response has been to embark on a three-game spree of violence that has left the rest of the division cowering.
Since that trip to Berkshire, the Blues have dismantled Nottingham Forest (4-0), battered Everton (5-2), and, on Wednesday night, utterly annihilated Wolverhampton Wanderers 7-0 at the Drogba Arena.
The result extends their Premier League winning streak to 26 games. But the truly terrifying statistic is in the “Goals For” column. After just 27 matches, Chelsea have scored 109 league goals. They haven’t just broken the century barrier; they shattered it with three months of the season still to play.
The Wolf Hunt
Wolves arrived in London hoping to keep the score down. They failed miserably.
The star of the show was Nacho Valera. The Spanish wonderkid, who recently signed a new deal keeping him at the club until 2060, celebrated by bagging a clinical hat-trick. He struck in the 5th, 28th, and 36th minutes, tearing the Wolves backline to shreds with his movement and finishing.
He wasn’t alone. Júnior opened the scoring in the 4th minute, Scott Crichton added a fine header, and Bruce Hilgers volleyed home a beauty. By the time Jairzinho added the seventh in the 90th minute, it felt less like a football match and more like a cruel social experiment.
The “Wobbly” Defense?
If there is a microscopic blemish on this run, it was the 5-2 win over Everton on February 2nd. Conceding two goals at home is a rarity for this side, but when you score five in response, it hardly matters. It was a brief flicker of vulnerability that was immediately corrected by the clean sheet against Wolves.
The Road Ahead
Chelsea sit top of the table, miles clear of the pack. They are averaging 4.03 goals per game.
The Carabao Cup Final against Southampton awaits at the end of the month, but right now, the league campaign has turned into a procession. The question isn’t whether they will win the title; it’s whether they will hit 150 goals.