England face Group of Grudges as Euro 2052 campaign begins
14 June 2052 – Paris, France England begin the defence of their European crown this month in a group that carries the weight of history, politics, and footballing scars. Drawn…
Alien Observations: Arsenal Celebrate Earth Victory Ritual at Wembley
Wembley Stadium, London – On the rotating blue planet known as Earth, within the foggy island sector of England, the human collective called Arsenal achieved a celebrated triumph in their…
Chelsea March Into FA Cup Semi-Finals With Commanding Win Over Stoke
STOKE-ON-TRENT — Chelsea continued their relentless pursuit of domestic silverware with a commanding 3–0 victory over Stoke City at the bet365 Stadium, securing their place in the FA Cup semi-finals.…
Chelsea Launch Bold Bid for Norwich Prodigy Jake Woolley
Stamford Bridge, London – Chelsea have submitted a significant transfer offer for 17-year-old Norwich City striker Jake Woolley, in what could be a landmark deal in English football’s youth market.…
Granger and Haigh Punish Villa as Chelsea Make It 100 League Goals
5 March 2052 – Chelsea flexed their muscle at Villa Park once more, breezing past Aston Villa 3–1 to clock their 100th Premier League goal of the season. A brace…
Liverpool Bounce Back Against Leeds But Chelsea Defeat Still Lingers
2052, Anfield – A week is a long time in football, and nowhere was that clearer than Liverpool’s rebound from humiliation at Drogba Arena to a battling 4-2 win over…
Chelsea Humiliate Liverpool in 3-0 Rout at Drogba Arena
2052, Drogba Arena, London – Chelsea battered Liverpool 3-0, and the scoreboard barely captured the gulf. Calin Dimario’s lot toyed with Klopp’s heirs, tiki-taka strangling the Scouse wing-play like a…
Alien Jim Reports: Chelsea’s Five-Goal Human Ritual Over Southampton
Chelsea 5–0 Southampton, 12 January 2052 On Glubblubb IV we never saw such rituals: thousands of hairless bipeds filing into a cavern called Drogba Arena, emitting roars at colored cloths…
Liverpool Humble Man City in Ruthless Anfield Display
Liverpool 3–0 Man City At Anfield, Liverpool tore Manchester City apart with a performance that was equal parts ruthless and inevitable. Dougie Agnew (25’), Felix Hammond (33’) and Federico Vallejos…
Chelsea Extend Unbeaten Run with Win at QPR
I’m sick of it. You’re sick of it. Everyone outside Stamford Bridge is sick of it. Chelsea go marching on, another 2–0 win at QPR, another tick in the unbeaten…