By Henry Vinter | 14 March 2056
If the first leg was a contest, the second leg was a coronation.
Carrying a “narrow” 3-2 lead from Germany, Chelsea welcomed RB Leipzig to the Drogba Arena knowing there was still work to be done. By the time the final whistle blew, they hadn’t just done the work; they had demolished the entire job site.
A crushing 5-0 victory on the night secured an 8-2 aggregate triumph, sending the reigning European Champions marching into the Quarter-Finals. But the cost of the victory was high, with veteran full-back Luther Banton carried off with an injury that will sideline him for the next month.
The Sahar and Cardozo Show
With Nacho Valera nursing a gashed leg, the stage was set for the “deputies” to shine. They didn’t disappoint.
Mario Cardozo wasted no time, settling any nerves with a crashing volley after just 3 minutes. It was a statement of intent that killed Leipzig’s hope before it could even breathe.
Then came Netanel Sahar. The Israeli striker, who is having a quiet season by nobody’s standards but his own, produced a Player of the Match performance. He scored a “skidding drive” in the 10th minute to double the lead, and then capped the rout in stoppage time (92′) with a “powerful low shot” that went in off the post.
Banton’s Heartbreak
The night took a dark turn in the 49th minute. Luther Banton, sprinting to cover a Leipzig counter, pulled up sharply holding his groin. The stadium went quiet as the 30-year-old was helped off.
Medical reports confirmed the manager’s fears immediately post-match: a groin strain that will keep the defender out for 3 to 4 weeks. With the business end of the season approaching, losing such an experienced head is a blow, though Luca D’Urso will surely step seamlessly into the void.
Robles and Rogério Join the Party
Between the goals and the injury, Chelsea’s other stars filled their boots.
Alberto Robles, benefiting from an error by Leipzig’s Yves Hartwig, scored a fierce shot to make it 3-0. Then, in the 67th minute, right-back Rogério José scored his customary goal—a well struck drive that went in via the post. When your right-back scores goals like a striker, you are playing a different sport to everyone else.
The Dynasty Continues
The aggregate score of 8-2 sends a terrifying message to the rest of Europe. Chelsea have won this competition in 2049, 2050, 2051, 2052, 2053, and 2054. Tonight’s dismantling of a top German side suggests that 2056 is heading the same way.