Tottenham Hotspur 2–1 ChelseaPremier Division — Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London In a fiery London derby under the bright summer skies, Kevin Strootman’s Tottenham halted the Chelsea machine with a dramatic…
5 March 2052 – Chelsea flexed their muscle at Villa Park once more, breezing past Aston Villa 3–1 to clock their 100th Premier League goal of the season. A brace…
2052, Anfield – A week is a long time in football, and nowhere was that clearer than Liverpool’s rebound from humiliation at Drogba Arena to a battling 4-2 win over…
2052, Drogba Arena, London – Chelsea battered Liverpool 3-0, and the scoreboard barely captured the gulf. Calin Dimario’s lot toyed with Klopp’s heirs, tiki-taka strangling the Scouse wing-play like a…
Chelsea 5–0 Southampton, 12 January 2052 On Glubblubb IV we never saw such rituals: thousands of hairless bipeds filing into a cavern called Drogba Arena, emitting roars at colored cloths…
Liverpool 3–0 Man City At Anfield, Liverpool tore Manchester City apart with a performance that was equal parts ruthless and inevitable. Dougie Agnew (25’), Felix Hammond (33’) and Federico Vallejos…
I’m sick of it. You’re sick of it. Everyone outside Stamford Bridge is sick of it. Chelsea go marching on, another 2–0 win at QPR, another tick in the unbeaten…
30 January 2052 – A strange symmetry unfolded across England this evening, where three matches provided three distinct lessons in inevitability. Manchester City 4–1 Queens Park Rangers Mathematics does not…
27 January 2052 – Plymouth Argyle’s unlikely crusade Plymouth fucking Argyle. A name you never thought you’d see hovering around the top half of the Premier League table, yet here…
27 January 2052 – Emirates Stadium, London The Emirates burned with false hope and bitter smoke on Saturday as Chelsea marched into North London and left with a 2-1 victory,…