By Henry Vinter | 30 November 2055
Plymouth Argyle arrived at the Drogba Arena with a reputation for grit, pasties, and punching above their weight. They left with the same headache that every other team has suffered for the last three months.
Despite the pre-match talk of a “bloody nose” for the champions, this was surgery, not a street fight. Chelsea dismantled the visitors 4-0 to extend their Premier League winning streak to a staggering 14 games.
It wasn’t the “Galacticos” who started the damage, but the man of the moment, Alberto Robles. And it was finished by a Brazilian masterclass led by the unlikely hero, Rogério José.
The Silent Assassin Strikes Again
Fresh from his Man of the Match performance against Leicester, Alberto Robles proved that his form is no flash in the pan. The Mexican midfielder, keeping his place in a rotated side that included “Concerned” winger Joseph Haigh, opened the scoring in the 26th minute.
It wasn’t a 19-yard screamer this time, but a “close range effort” that showed his knack for arriving in the box at the perfect moment. He is fast becoming the heartbeat of this team.
Rogério José’s Night
If Robles started the party, Rogério José hosted it. The Brazilian right-back produced a flawless display that earned him a 9.0 Match Rating and the Player of the Match award.
He was everywhere. Defensively relentless, he recorded 45 interceptions this season, but it was his contribution in attack that broke Plymouth’s spirit. In the 41st minute, he doubled the lead with a “skidding drive” that fizzed past the keeper. A defender scoring a striker’s goal is the ultimate sign of a team overflowing with confidence.
The King and the Prince
The second half saw the Brazilian connection deepen. The legendary Pelé, who is aging like a fine wine, made it 3-0 shortly after the break with a trademark “skidding drive” of his own.
And just to rub salt in the wounds, substitute Mario Cardozo added a fourth in stoppage time. Pouncing on an error by Plymouth’s Aron Shashoua, Cardozo unleashed a “powerful close range volley into the top corner”. It was a brutal finish to a brutal evening for the visitors.
Total Dominance
The stats tell the story of a mismatch. Chelsea fired 18 shots to Plymouth’s 3. They generated an xG of 2.84 while restricting the visitors to a paltry 0.20.
For Plymouth, there is no shame in this; they are merely the latest victims of a juggernaut. For Chelsea, the machine rolls on. 14 wins in a row. The title race is starting to look less like a marathon and more like a victory lap.