By Henry Vinter | 7 November 2055
There is a specific kind of cruelty in the way this Chelsea side plays football. It is not enough to simply beat you; they dismantle you, piece by piece, until the very idea of resistance seems foolish. Last night at the Riverside Stadium, Middlesbrough were not just beaten 5-0; they were systematically deconstructed by a team that has now won eleven consecutive Premier League games.
For Maasai Belgrave, the Middlesbrough defender facing his former club, this was billed as a chance for redemption. Instead, it became a public undressing. Chelsea did not just take the three points; they took Belgrave’s dignity, exploiting his defensive unit with a ruthlessness that left the 33,931 in attendance stunned into silence.
The Crichton and Robles Show
While the pre-match talk focused on narratives, the match itself was decided by pure, unadulterated quality. Scott Crichton, a winger whose name is already etched into the club’s folklore, was imperious. His header in the 3rd minute set the tone—a “flyer” that killed Middlesbrough’s game plan before they had even touched the ball. His second, a crashing volley in the 37th minute, was a reminder that even at 28, his hunger for goals remains insatiable.
But if Crichton provided the sparkle, Alberto Robles provided the devastation. The midfielder, often overshadowed by the flair of Júnior or the finishing of Mishpati, was unplayable. His fierce shot in the 6th minute, capitalising on a horrific error by Ewan Jones, effectively ended the contest. He added a second after the break, earning a match rating of 8.9 and controlling the tempo with a swagger that bordered on arrogance.
The “Silent” Evolution
Beyond the scoreline, the team sheet revealed two significant victories for manager Calin Dimario’s squad management.
First, Billy Laing. After weeks of impactful cameos and whispers of a loan move, the 21-year-old was finally handed his first start of the season. He did not look like a debutant. Operating in the engine room, Laing was a picture of efficiency, recording a 7.2 rating and covering every blade of grass. He has proven he is not just a “closer” for the final 20 minutes; he is a starter in waiting.
Second, Luther Banton. The “invisible man” we discussed only days ago was very much visible, providing an assist and locking down the left flank with a 7.5 performance before being rested. In a season threatened by injury, Banton’s resurgence is becoming one of the stories of the campaign.
A League of Their Own
The statistics are frightening. Chelsea dominated possession (51%), fired off 20 shots to Boro’s 6, and generated an xG of 2.88 compared to the host’s 0.74.
With 11 wins from 11, the title race is threatening to become a procession before Christmas. For the rest of the league, the scary part isn’t that Chelsea won 5-0. It’s that they did it with Júnior on the bench, playing at a canter, and looking like they could have scored ten.
Match Summary
- Middlesbrough 0 – 5 Chelsea
- Goals: Crichton (3′, 37′), Robles (6′, 63′), Kardec (27′)
- Player of the Match: Scott Crichton (Chelsea) – 9.1 Rating
- Attendance: 33,931